Saturday, February 20, 2016

I'm sick and I'd like to get well, ASAP

Dear Lord,
What is your plan here? You want me to learn humility, patience, endurance?
I get it. I do. I just feel lousy.
My head's exploding, my sinuses are swollen, my nose is red and crispy.
I'm a real beauty queen.
I walk around with my mouth hanging open so I can breathe,
and I haven't slept soundly in days (for fear of suffocation).
And--I'm working here. At least I'm trying.
I'm hobnobbing with professional writers, asking for critiques, making contacts, self-advocating,
trying to be the best version of me--either the fun me or the professional me--I'd take either one today.
Instead, I'm allergy me.
Stuffy, aching, swollen, tired, throbbing me.
I'm a Ny-Quil commercial.
And I'm not happy about it.
(After all, isn't my life about me?)
Oh, I get it. No, this is not about me, even though it feels like it should be.
It's about YOU. It's always about You, whether I realize it or not.
You're just reminding me, because I forget so easily.
Let's try this again:
Dear Lord,
Thank You for my health, even when it's not good.
Thank You for Ny-Quil and Mucinex-D and Zyrtec.
I am in awe that You even care about my cold, about my Rudolph nose.
I praise You for your mercy and grace in my life, for the blessing of being here.
You know I'd like to get better . . .
I'll wait for You to work on that.
I love You.
(But You are really lucky not to have sinus problems.)
Love, me

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