Friday, July 1, 2016

Praying to the One who already knows what I need and why I didn't pray sooner

Lord, God, Who knows all,

You know who I am. You know what I've been doing.
I've been super busy,
but obviously, not as busy as You've been.
You know, running the world and all,
reading billions of people's hearts and minds,
listening to billions of prayers.
And yet, You still wait to hear from me.
Here I am, frantically running my life and confusing my own heart and mind,
when a little time with you would set all the confusion straight.
I've been too busy to pray the prayers I should be praying--the agonizing prayers of the soul--
the ones that will touch Your heart and cause You to answer me
with love and grace.

I'm not sure why I haven't been praying more.
You already know everything I'm going through.
You already know how everything will turn out.
But those aren't good reasons not to pray.
The truth is--
I stop praying because I'm lazy and self-absorbed.
I stop because I feel defeated from the beginning.
I'm too busy taking in the world around me and deciding that life is overly hard and unjust--
and I rule prayer out of my daily routine.

That's when the discouragement sets in.
And then the longing.
And then the anxious prayers.
I stop believing that I know what I'm doing down here;
I stop busying myself, trying to fix everything,
And I pray.
Pray, pray, pray.
Ahh!
That's more like it.

Thanks for listening and loving and waiting.
I need You desperately.
You also know that.

Amen.

image by Mick Lissone