I really messed up this week: a prayer of awareness and repentance

Well, Lord,

I messed up this week.
I got upset about an injustice that was done to one of my kids--
which of course, felt like an injustice to me--
and I went all Mama-Bear on some well-intentioned people
who, however unintentional their behavior was, hurt my child.

So I messed up right back at them.
I was nice about it,
but I hurt them with my well-crafted phrases.
I feel terribly convicted,
even though what I said and how I said it may not have been so terrible.

I don't know anymore.
I just know I didn't leave this at your feet.
I didn't turn the other cheek.
(It's my kid, after all!)--
but I guess you know about that better than I do!
I took the bait.
I was less than Jesus about the whole thing.
I lacked grace and wisdom.

Please forgive me for not representing you well.
I've reached out to those I've offended--
I've affirmed them and explained myself--
but I guess I need to boldly ask their forgiveness,
with more groveling and more humility.

Maybe this whole debacle was about me modeling
repentance to people who don't know you like I do.
I'm asking for wisdom now.
How do I represent you well,
even while I uphold justice for my child?

I guess you know a lot about this.
Not sure why I didn't consult you to begin with.
I did pray about it.
And slept on it.
But still angry, I moved into action.
I figured one night was enough for you to change my mind.

Yep, that's how we spiritual humans wait on God.
We don't really wait all that well.

I'm sorry. I love you, and I will attempt to learn from this.
Don't know why you love me, except that you're God
and you do so many remarkable, unexplainable acts of love.
Thank you for forgiving me.
Thank you for a million chances to behave like Jesus.
Thank you for a million expressions of grace.



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