Here I am again, trying to trust You
Here I am again, trying to trust You, God.
In the last year alone, I've posted 9 prayers specifically addressing the issue of trusting God. Given the year we've had, I guess I shouldn't be surprised.
And here I am, about to post another prayer about trust. This week, during my prayer time (which I usually have while I walk my neighborhood), Kari Jobe's song "Trust in you" played on Spotify through my Airpods. It struck me that I'm still struggling over this same issue of faith. I still doubt and worry about what God is doing in my life.
Where are you taking me, God?
What am I supposed to be doing?
Why do I feel so afraid? So unsettled?
I'm discouraged that trusting God remains difficult, no matter how much or how long I've worked on it. I'm choosing to trust God again today. Moment by moment. This year. (Read a whole blog about this struggle here.)
So here's a song to inspire you and a prayer to transport you into God's presence, where you can reaffirm your faith in Him. That's what God requires of us,
1. Choose to trust
2. Say it out loud
3. Act as though you do
4. Thank God for whatever it is He's doing (because He is doing something great!)
And now for the prayer....
Here I am again. I want to trust you. Please forgive me that I don't. I know you are good and that you only do good. I know that you are trustworthy. You have proved that a thousands times in my life and through Scripture. You protect and direct your people. You fight for us. You fight for me. God, demolish my anxiety and help me see my life through your eyes.
Lord, help me to fight. Help me to choose you first every day, to believe that you have a plan for each day, that you want to use me to spread the gospel and bring glory to your holy name. Lord, I praise you for who you are.
You love me, and I love you because of it. Lord, change me from the inside out. Give me your strength to trust and your faith to believe that whatever happens is for your glory. You redeem my mistakes and bless my obedience.
I trust in you. I trust in you. I trust in you. I trust in you.
Take my life and use it however you want.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
"Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you." (Psalm 9:10)