Oh, Lord, I'm scared. I have anxiety and dread all the time, and I think it's from not obeying your call on my life-- not doing the things you've told me to do or loving the people you've told me to love. I'm afraid to follow you because I don't know what will happen to me when I do and because I've been hurt by people so many times when I did. I have reasonable excuses for hesitating: I'm not good enough, not talented enough, not lucky enough, not spiritual enough. I'm too busy, too stressed too unprepared. I need to heal, to find myself, to get into a safe space. Yet the longing and the frustration in my spirit persists. That tells me I'm not living in harmony with your calling and with the Spirit of God living inside of me. You say I am enough-- in you I am always enough. You can do anything, through anyone, and you just want me to trust you with my life. I confess my pride and self-reliance to you. Steady my heart and clear my mind. H
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Lord God, the Way-maker, Open new pathways for me. I feel like I'm at a dead end, like there's no way out of this problem. I'm trying not to look around me, not to see the forces of criticism, procrastination, confusion, fear, misapprehension, self-doubt, and down-right evil that assault me from all sides. I'm trying to look ahead, to follow your voice and see your face. To put one foot in front of the other in terrified obedience. Are you out there? Where are we going? I can't see you. I can't even see the path. Remind me of you promises: You go before me. You go behind me. You go with me. You live inside me. You feel my pain. You created me to handle this. You made me for this purpose. You use everything for your glory. You are growing me. Where you lead me, I will follow. You make a way, where there is no way. I believe you can do it again. And so I follow you. That's what you've told me to do. Amen.